Beard Lovers No.4 – Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.

 

mr b gentleman rhymer

Welcome to the refined world of the gentleman, the chap, the cavalier. His is a life of walking cane-led strolls along Brighton promenade, cups of tea in quaint cafés and educating others in the ways of event-specific footwear with his banjolele. This is the nonsensical life of a chap-hop sensation.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Mr. B.

If my facial fluff had a name it would be

…my lip-weasel, my soup-strainer, my wife’s best friend…I’m not quite sure where I’m taking this now, so I’d best stop. Perhaps, it’s called Nigel?

My morning routine consists of

…a constitutional along the promenade of Hove, a good long soak listening to Kenneth Horne or something of that ilk, a shave, then tea.

My favourite barber is….

…I tend to pop and see my man at Teddy Edwards near my abode. Splendid barber.

An average day in the life of Mr. B is

…I start with the morning routine. Then there is no typical day. All I can say is (as I do on my new long player “Can’t Stop, Shan’t Stop”) I devote as much time as I can to the neglect of my duties.

I have always been a gentleman

…even if, in my younger years I may not have looked like much of a chap, deep down the chap was always there, waiting to emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis! Some of us are born gentlemen, others have gentlemanliness thrust upon them.

My most diva demand is

…I insist on having my tweed trousers lined in silk, otherwise my dainty skin becomes terribly irritated.

Secretly I

…hang around with dumbkopfs to make myself feel awfully clever.

For me the act of making music is

…gentlemanly in itself. One is giving of oneself for the benefit of others. Or something like that.

My most recent melody is

…one of these break-up type songs which seem to be popular at the mo about wanting one’s ex to be happy with their new beau. I believe Adele and Bruno mars have done something along these lines. But in mine I simply espouse the wish that my ex’s new love has a rather small john Thomas.

The future for Mr. B holds

…word gentification. And gin.

Check out Mr. B and his work here.

Listen to his chap-hop rhyming sensations on YouTube.

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About hewens

Journalist and writer, 22.
This entry was posted in Features and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Beard Lovers No.4 – Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.

  1. Pingback: The Bearded Internet: Youtube’s Best Hairy Videos | Bearded London

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