My First Movember: Christopher Sharpe, Week 3

Our favourite Movember virgin rouses himself from a hungover stupor just long enough to write us a moustache missive. Living hard and ‘taching even harder. 

Christopher Sharpe Week 3

Christopher Sharpe, day sixteen

A dispatch from Hungoversville, UK, the most excruciating little town in all the land. Twinned with Tod-Aufgewärmt, DE. In matters related to my head, but not to it feeling like an orchestra of screaming goats doing the Cha Cha Slide whilst performing some choice selections from Metal Machine Music, predominantly through the medium of popping a million party balloons in the shape of Terry Wogan’s face with hairdryers, we’re two full weeks into Movember now, and the tache has awakened! Huzzah! O frabjous day! Callooh callay! Ouch. The exclamation marks are making it worse. I need to go back to bed…

…Much better! The past 16 days have very much been a learning experience of sorts. We’re not talking Seven Years in Tibet here, but at the very least it’s been a daily workshop in my facial follicles. Light brown, dark brown, blonde, ginger, black hairs all call my gob home in a kaleidoscope of mediocrity. They stand side by side, pointing whichever way they wish: some short, some long, even some patches of barren wasteland just to add spice to proceedings. I love each and every last one of the little buggers.

Unfortunately the idea that I can love each and every one implies that I could probably count them. Which isn’t quite so good. So more the merrier please, heavier and more widespread sprouting would be much appreciated over the next fortnight. Cheers my face.

But at the halfway point, I largely find myself quite content. The impossibility of leading a bearded life has been largely accepted (there’s a 12-step programme) on the withinside, and perhaps as a consequence it feels like the outside world has been increasingly kind in matters of all things hairy. The kind of rippling sexuality, winning charisma and overall manly empowerment suggested by some studies has passed me by sadly (at birth), but I have nonetheless received a sturdy couple of compliments, and some rather abridged endorsements of its growth. Which compared to last week is rather wonderful indeed.

Things are looking up on Christopher’s upper lip, and we’re super excited about that. Support the growth by contributing to his Movember here.  


About Francesca Peak

Lifestyle, arts and culture journalist.
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